2003-10-24 - 8:05 a.m.
I have a little multiple-choice question for you guys.
Last night I :
A) Learned how to Meringue with a Spanish Stud named Juan
B) Finally completed my “How To” book entitled “How to Avoid Having Your Leg Humped by a Dog: A practical guide from someone who's experienced it”
C) Stared in utter confusion at Pickle’s Grade 5 math, watched some Scooby Doo, then collapsed like a tons of bricks into bed.
D) Made wild passionate monkey love with a man I’m utterly in love with, for 6 consecutive hours, in a bed with Rose petals laid….alright, I can’t even finish this…You all know it’s not D.
Well I’m sure you’re all dying of suspense because (with the exception of D) it really could be could be any one of those.
Riiiiiight.
So anyway, Pickle and I spent an inordinate amount of time reading and re-reading the “Word Problems” in his math book.
You remember word problems don’t you? They were those questions like “If a train leaves Chicago yadda, yadda, yadda”.
I hated questions like that when I was in school and guess what? I hate them now too. As far as I'm concerned the universal answer to any of those questions is "Who Cares?"
I’d also like to know who writes these things.
Let me give you an example from Pickles text book:
Laird has 16 stamps on two pages of his collection book. He has 6 more stamps on one page than on the other. How many stamps does Laird have on each page?
Yeah.
I have a question... Who names their kid LAIRD? And if Laird has 16 stamps why doesn’t he just put 8 stamps on each page like any person with a half a fucking brain would?
I mean really.
On another note, I’ve come to conclusion that Girl Guide cookies are made by Satan. Every year we pay way too much to eat box after box of cookies until we’re ready to projectile vomit and then next year we do it all again.
It’s a conspiracy I tell you! They lace the cookies with crack.
I swear they do.
A.G.
