2003-10-28 - 11:26 a.m.
How can you just walk away from me, when all I can do is watch you leave?
Cause we've shared the laughter and the pain,
and even shared the tears
You're the only one who really knew me at all.
So take a look at me now, cause there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me, just the memory of your face
Take a look at me now, cause there's just an empty space
And you coming back to me is against all odds and that's what I've got to face
I wish I could just make you turn around,
turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you, so many reasons why
You're the only one who really knew me at all.
Living with my parents means I listen to…ooog...soft rock stations most of the time.
Pity me.
99% of it is crap, a lot of it is mushy, and I tend to hear the above song off and on. I never liked it before but I was trapped in the car with my Mother and I actually listened to the lyrics. It’s really a very sad, very pretty song. It reminds me very much of someone.
Have you ever had one of those people in your life? That no matter what the time or distance they never seem too far from your mind? You tell yourself you’re not pining over them, but you know it's a crock of shit?
I keep waiting for that moment that always to comes to me when I move on. It’s a space in time where my mind and my heart snap into sync and they both yell out a resounding, “Knock it off!! Eye’s forward!! Let’s move on!!”
Let me tell you, it’s been taking it’s sweet ass time this time around. It was easier to get over the man I was married to, and that’s saying something.
It’s not like I don’t know that it wouldn’t work out. Bad timing, bad situation, blah, blah, blah. I KNOW why. I understand. I’m not angry, I’m not really even hurt anymore. Why can’t I let it go?
I hear key words, I hear songs, I see things we’ve talked about or seen together, and WHAM! Bleh.
How old am I? 13? I mean seriously.
I guess, it’s the “Wonder what they’re doing now” syndrome. I guess it doesn’t help that I almost NEVER talk about my feelings on these things to anyone (This is very rare). I guess, like anything else, it’ll only stop if I really want it too.
That’s my problem in a nutshell folks. I need to want to.
Easier said than done.
A.G.
